Thursday, October 15, 2009

Accidentally Mayonnaise!

For some more Vegan MoFo, this post I'll be talking about this strange but delicious thing I made last week. If you've ever been to the PETA website they have a list of brand name foods you can find in all grocery stores, such as Oreos and Bisquick, that are "Accidentally Vegan"! Including the exclamation point. All PETA insanity aside, that is pretty funny, in a tacky and generic sort of way. But alas, mayonnaise is not on the list. The best you can get is Trader Joe's low fat mayonnaise, which is egg free, and of course, Veganaise, which is even available at regular chain grocers like SaveMart. However, none of these mayonnaise substitutes taste like Miracle Whip.

I have a long history with Miracle Whip. Since childhood, I've always thought that the mayonnaise-like dressing was pretty much the greatest human invention. I haven't had it in years, but I remember how it tastes. I wouldn't eat it if I had it, but I hold those cherished memories close to my heart. Miracle Whip is awesome

This is a high raw toxin free "mayonnaise" that I accidentally made when my 1 year old rejected it as dinner. I tasted it and thought, "Hmmm...this tastes like mayonnaise". Benefit now from my mistake. Unfortunately, it tastes nothing like Miracle Whip, and because of this I'm beginning to think that it might actually just be excito-toxins that make it taste so good. Curse you, delicious chemical deliciousness!

No measurements are exact. I used my almighty Magic Bullet, you can always use the blender/food processor of your choice.

1 Avocado
1/5 a block of extra firm tofu (this gives it the classic bland "Best Foods" flavor and also it's thick creamy texture)
garlic powder or cloves (1 clove or equivalent)
olive oil (coconut would give a different flavor that may not taste good)
2 TB Nutritional Yeast
Sea Salt or other non table salt

1 tsp ground Hemp Seeds (or any finely powdered seed or nut)
Spinach leaves

This makes a pretty small amount, but since it goes in the fridge and lasts as long as anything else made fresh, I'd use it within 2 weeks. The salt will help to keep it. Experiment and create something that appeals to your own unique taste.

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