Gluten Free Vegan Potato Pancake YumYum...

I went to Raley's the other day to look at all the expensive food. Sometimes I do that. It's all really just prepackaged vegan specialty foods like rice cheeses and packaged seitan steaks, dairy free ice cream, and other mass produced animal free junk food that is fun for an occasional treat but overall is way too expensive and almost as bad as eating the original. Well, I wandered through the ethinic aisle and came across a box of Latka mix and thought, "holy crap, that looks good". Yeah, too bad the mix requires egg and is filled with gluten.

A few days later, I went through my kitchen for some long forgotten items and came up with a recipe for potato pancakes that most likely don't taste like a prepackaged mix, but EW! Nasty chemicals can't compare with homemade food! Plus, I thought they tasted really good.

Get this stuff:
Potatoes. I don't think there are any rules here. I used russet. Some people even like sweet potatoes.

Onions and Garlic

Chia seeds. Or flax, if that's all you have.

Corn meal.

Grate the potatoes. Oh my god, this took me forever, and I think you should use a food processor grating tool, okay? I have a really crappy tiny little grater from WalMart I had to use and man, let me tell you it was no picnic. Anyway, grate like, 5, for a few pan fulls of food.

I chopped up my onions and garlic in the Magic Bullet, cause that's how I roll. Add those to the potatoes AFTER you totally squeeze all the water out of the potatoes. Just grab handfuls and squeeze over the sink. Mix all that mess together.

Now, add some corn meal. How much you add is kind of up to you and how many potatoes you're using. Add more if you like the consistency more batter-like, if you like a more hash brown-y type product add less. For 5 potatoes I used about 4 tablespoons.

Now, add your chia seeds. Not dry, obviously. If you're using chia seeds, add a table spoon to 1/2 cup of water and let sit for a half an hour at least. If using flaxseeds, grind them up and add 2 tablespoons to 6 tablespoons of water. You can just soak them overnight and then add more water until you get an egg like consistency. These things are going to gel up and make a pudding, but you want to them to be about the consistency of a beaten egg, so just add more water if it's too thick, or more seeds if it's too thin. By the way, don't use golden roasted flaxseeds unless you want your pancakes to taste like high fiber cereal. I use chia seeds every day so this is old hat for me, but if you are too overwhelmed by the idea of adding seeds to water just go buy a box of Energ-G Egg Replacer and remember to cool your brain every few hours.

Now, mix all this stuff up really good. Add seasoning if you want, I didn't. Now, cook them as per your particular dietary needs. Bake, broil, pan grill or fry them. Just make sure they are browned on all sides and cooked through the middle, although there's not a whole lot of danger here since we aren't using eggs.

TA-DAAAAA!



As you can see, I like mine browned on both sides but still soft and gooey in the middle. Some people like 'em thin and crispy. Do what you want, but make a ton, because everyone likes these things.

"Don't Panic", written in big, friendly letters...

Yeah, okay, I'll admit that a few years ago if I heard myself talk I'd think I was crazy, not knowing that it was the other way around. :) But Massachusetts has fulfilled exactly what I said was going to to happen, and what thousands of others have been saying for a long time. Now those people are, under that law, required to received the Swine Flu vaccine. Those who refuse are subject to, and this is by no means a complete list, forced vaccination, forced quarantine and isolation, interrogation, arrest, and involuntary transportation. Isn't that abduction?

This is a REAL bill that was just passed and will be enacted within the next few weeks to months, whenever the "glorious" and untested vaccine is released.

Want proof? Read the bill! It's available online. Get the link here...

Want to see the lovely ingredients in the vaccine, involving aborted human fetus, monkey and dog cells? Check out my new Google docs account and read without signing in :)

I will do whatever it takes to keep my children safe from the greedy fingers of the pharmaceutical companies. I refuse to allow them to inject my children with unsafe, untested, and FORCED toxins and that is my legal right. This new bill is a severe violation of our rights, and bending over and taking it will lead to more corruption, more violations, and a totalitarian police state that in no way resembles the Untied States of America.

Is the end nigh yet?

God, I've been dreading this day for awhile now. The supposed "Swine Flu" fear campaign is about to come to a head, and the drug companies couldn't be happier. Evidently, and this is most convenient thing I've ever heard, the "flu" is going to hit at the same time the vaccine will be finished and ready to unleash upon the world. Lovely, and well timed. Good job, powers that be.

Mandatory vaccination. Yeah, that's right. Get the whole family together and line up for a cocktail of who-knows-what untested, unsafe, even MORE dangerous than the vaccines already out there and here's the best part: you know that whole "freedom" thing we're enjoying? Well, the laws are being changed. You can't even refuse this vaccine for medical or religious reasons. And if your baby dies, or if you grandmother or even your boyfriend dies, you won't be entitled a thing.

This is the part of the game where you have to act in order to NOT get the bad ending. Come on, if anything the Playstation 2 prepared you for this moment better than anything else. Change your weapon, load up on health drinks, check your map (it's triangle) and resist. Let's get the best ending possible, people.

http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/568/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=27275

http://www.healthfreedomusa.org/?p=3218

http://www.theflucase.com/

If you know, you can prepare.

Parasite Cleanse, Day...Fibromyalgia. Haha.

A lot of cleansing going on around these here parts. Seth, my resident fibromyalgia sufferer and all around sickly fellow, has agreed to try a 30 day cleanse, rotation diet, exercise program, energy healing, and herb and supplementation plan, which are all integral pieces of a seriously committed fibromyalgia healing program I'm hoping to fine tune. This will be version one of probably ten million, since each and every person with fibro will most likely respond differently to each part of the plan. And since I don't exactly feel like cooking two separate menus, I'm being dragged into a diet that even I think is insane, and I'm a part time raw foodist and all time vegan superstar with 5 platinum albums.

It's not so much that the diet is hard to execute or that the food doesn't taste good, it's just something I've never done before, and it's a great learning experience for me as well as a great way for me to increase my health and vitality, since we'll be eliminating all common allergens. Who knows, I might even have an allergy I'm not even aware of! Most people do.

I even managed to construct an awesome supplement plan that's only going to dent us 25$ a month. I'm super happy about that :) And it's going to be a blast finding that thin line of taking Vitamin C to "bowel tolerance". Hahaha.

My parasite cleanse is going very, very well. I'm feeling a bit foggy and irritable now, so I'm already mad at you and you haven't even said anything yet. Bathroom discoveries? Not yet. But I'm also not expecting anything till third week.

Tomorrow is another bottling day for Kombucha! Our first baby is ready to go out into the world now! Now, I need a bunch of those massive glass costco jars so I can start multiple brews at once, because we blow through Kombucha here like white people blow through Diet Coke.

So, the most exciting thing ever? Tomorrow I am ordering a roll of pH Alkaline/Acid test strips and I'm going to be monitoring the pH levels of everyone in my poor, healthy family. Dis-ease CANNOT exist in an alkaline body. Do a pH test on someone with cancer. Always, always, always it will come back acidic. Why? Because illness thrives in an acidic body. Simply remove acidic foods from the diet, breath deeply, think constructive and positive manifesting thoughts, and behold! Alkaline :) There are so many things you can do to rid yourself of an acidic test result, but those are the fastest and easiest.

A roll of testing paper shouldn't run you more than 15$ and you only need a little bit to test, so the stuff lasts forever and is indispensable to your health. I'm trying out a new brand, so when it arrives later this week we'll all do tests and post the results. Later!

Hamburger Helper...

Yeah, right. No, I don't eat that. But I make a mean version of it occasionally for my family, and they seem to like it. They're all sick now, every last one of them had horrible fevers, achiness, coughing, sneezing...the whole she-bang. Not I! Deep breathing, positive thinking, and keeping an alkaline body kept me free from the ickies, so neener neener noo. I think that my whole foods supplement, which has a whole Chinese mushroom complex, fruits and veggies, blue green algae and spirulina, nuts and seeds, and a greens blend, did a lot of the work for me, as well as the herbal infusion blend I created specifically for this wave of snotty terror that washed over my tiny apartment. Pau D'Arco is a friend of mine :)

While misting the house with a homemade disinfectant (as done daily) I simmered this lovely concoction of cooked evil on the stove. If you're feeling like eating something white trash-ified that looks like it came from a box, behold! My sinister creation...



Right?

How to:

Magic Bullet a onion and like, 5 or 6 cloves of garlic. If you're still Magic Bullet-less, congratulations, your hands are going to smell. Chop it up, slave.

Boil some organic brown rice pasta swirlies. Yes, peoples, those noodles are made from nothing but organic brown rice and water. Gluten free, firm, and perfect. And $1.99 for a big bag.

Now, open up a package of tempeh and crumble that bad boy up. No tempeh? For shame! Fermented foods are amazing for you, but tofu or beans will do just as well. Cook in olive oil over medium heat with the onions and garlic.

Chop up some zucchini. My Dad grows monster squash in his backyard and sends them over to me, which is the awesomeness, but if you don't have zucchini, use crookneck, grey squash...hell, use pumpkin if that's all you have. Basically, you need a nice veggie that's going to soak up sauce. Feel free to add others, if you want. I threw in a tomato, too, cause I had a bunch.

Once those are lightly cooked but not mushy throw the drained pasta on top of the veggies, open up some organic tomato sauce and dump it in. You'll need a lot of sauce. I use a whole can, since I make big dinners and eat lots of leftovers. Simmer on low with the lid on for like, 10 minutes.

Sprinkle on some nutritional yeast to make it cheesy, and add some dried herbs like oregano, parsely, and whatever else comes in the organic spice thing I buy, and YAY! Done. So easy. Eat a side of this stuff with your raw salad tonight and you will be soooooo happy.

Parasite cleanse is still on and going strong! No sign of creepy crawlies yet. I'm actually designing a Fibromyalgia recovery program for Seth, so if he decides to give it a try we'll have another 30 day program to document for you all. For now, I'm content to swallow ham pills and take my sacred bark to destroy any and all invaders that might be squatting in my colon. Oh, I call my parasite complex "ham pills" because the first time I took them they immediately reminded me of the Honeybaked Ham I used to eat at Christmas time. I think because it's heavy on garlic and cloves...

A Cat Love Story...

And now for something completely different...

I, the Cat Paparazzi, followed Edward, the black kitty, and Bella, the grey kitty, into the kitchen to try and get that million dollar shot of a torrid love affair. I struck gold. They were being careless, and I was in the right place at precisely the right time. It was as though they were in their own world, and no one was there. But someone WAS there.

Here they are, two passionate lovers in the night.



But my camera flash interrupted their embrace, and in shock they both realized what I had done.



"Ha!" I exclaimed. "I'm selling these to US magazine! Now, everyone will know for sure that Edward and Bella are indeed having an affair behind the scenes! The rumors were TRUE!" I waved my camera at them, and took a few more shots, in awe of what I'd just done.

"Go on!" Edward yelled, ignoring the flash of my camera in his eyes, filled with betrayal at my actions. "Tell the world, tell all of them! We have nothing to be ashamed of!"



Bella, hiding behind Edward, opened her eyes wide and begged me silently to forget everything I'd seen here. But I couldn't betray you, the public, and let them hide their love in the shadows. Now, all of you know the truth!

Parasite Cleanse, Day 4

Today was largely uneventful. I downed almost an entire bottle of home brewed Kombucha (for which I am named). I have two goals in mind for high Kombucha consumption today, one of which is replenishing my intestinal flora since today is a no laxative day. Instead of the cascara sagrada, I am using two servings of 100% pure psyllium husks. Please, for me and for you, never, ever take grocery store fiber supplements. They are loaded with all kinds of sugars, dyes, and flavors and will not do you any good. Buy pure psyllium husks, which are actually cheaper and are amazing for your body.

My other goal is boosting energy. I've been feeling rather sluggish today, even though I got a fair amount of sleep and took my morning therapeutic multi-level healing walk (haha). Just sort of...blah, all day today. Oh, well. I have two more case studies that were delivered today, so I've got plenty to keep me busy while sitting.

Seth is sick today so I've been busy in the kitchen making herbal infusions, dispensing tinctures, and making soup, which in the middle of August is destroying the cool environment I have created with the tiny little crappy cooler installed in the wall of our apartment. For any of you who want to make a nice big stew-thing in the middle of summer, here's what we are having for dinner.

Organic vegetable stock
Vine ripened tomatoes
brown rice
lentils
bok choy
purple baby potatoes
garden picked zucchini
garlic
onion
dried herbs

I wanted homemade sprouted falafel, but Seth woke up feeling like ick and craving soup, so...I lost.

I said something weird, huh? My morning therapeutic multi-level healing walk? What in the hell is that? I like to take about a mile long walk in the mornings at 10am, when the sun is in the optimal zone for healing purposes. Aside from the fact that walking is one of the best things you can ever do for yourself, exposure to sunlight WITHOUT sunscreen in the mid-morning will create loads of Vitamin D in the skin. Allowing sunlight into your eyes has incredible healing effects on your body down to each and every cell, so get out in the early sun and OPEN YOUR EYES! Take off your sunglasses for half of the trip. Your entire body RELIES on sunlight, which has enormous effects on your hormone levels, mood, immune system, and more. Sunscreen and sunblock is dangerous, and should be avoided at all costs. Burn easy? Wear a hat. Sunscreen will give you cancer. Not the sun. It's the interaction of toxins from supposed "sunblocks" that will give you skin cancer.

There. You are now officially smarter than ever. Your welcome!

Parasite Cleanse, Day 3

Oh, things is happening.

No confirmed parasites yet, but what looks and feels to be old waste buildup is being released right now. It's actually not the worst thing I've been through, and I'm glad to be rid of it. Hopefully by the end of the 30 days I'll have dropped a few pounds without even trying. But, the sheer variety of of the stuff I'm releasing is amazing. I'm trained to appreciate that sort of thing. You find it gross, I find it fascinating.

I planned on doing a few days on and off the cascara sagrada, switching in between that and psyllium husks to maintain the cleansing process on the in between days. Cascara sagrada isn't mild by any stretch of the imagination, but it isn't near as intense a cathartic herb as Senna. As long as I alternate throughout the 30 days, my electrolyte balance should be fine, and my bowel tone should improve on top of being completely washed, wrung out, and hung on the line to dry :)

I am noticing a dull annoyed feeling in my mid left abdomen the last two hours or so, which I'm taking as a sign it's time to give myself a day off the laxatives. There's no pain, and it's definitely intestinal. We'll wait and watch, keeping a close eye on any developments.

During a cleanse like this where I'm taking a parasite-killing formula AND natural bowel stimulants, it's important that I maintain a healthy level of happy micro flora in my intestines. As usual, I've got a huge stock of Kombucha bottled for just that purpose, and another huge batch a-fermentin' in the darkest corner of my kitchen. I'm also growing a nice baby with each batch, so very soon now I'll be taking requests for Kombucha babies, for those of you who want to grow your own Probiotics easy and cheaply in your own kitchen and stop paying for those pills.

Besides listening to the audiobook of my dreams, "Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You To Know About" and loving every second, I've been unwinding with some natural jewelry making. It's nice to have something that I don't have to think about while I'm doing it, and I love making knot jewelry. I'm using only natural products like glass, wood, clay, hemp, and cotton, and I'm letting some of these creations go, if you'd like to follow that or take a look-see.

Well, now that we've shared all that...this relationship is getting rather personal.

I'm still alive...

...but hopefully the parasites aren't. I started the first day at half doses. I'm supposed to take 2 parasite pills twice a day on an empty stomach, and 2 of the cascara sagrada pills once a day with food. Doing this for 30 days, and today is day 2. So far...a few more trips to the bathroom than normal, but nothing urgent or horrific. I know it's gross, but I have to know, so I've been inspecting anything that looks weird. So far, I'm clean, but I think it's too early to tell.

Mood wise, I'm doing well. My joke timing is a bit off, but that could be due to lack of restful sleep because it is SO FREAKING HOT right now here in Sacramento. I've been spending my time in creation mode. I'm opening up a jewelry blog where I'll be sending my pieces out to conquer the world, one wrist at a time. Look out for new developments there. Also, my case studies are going well, I just finished another one and now I'm just sitting back and waiting for the rest of my people to return their forms. I can still take one or two more people if anyone needs a dietary analysis while it's still free.

I'm making these posts a little shorter because I'm mainly blogging my parasite cleanse now, so...oh, crap, hang on...

Bathroom break. I'll catch you guys soon :)

It's Parasite Time!

I spent the last few days wading through the waters of nasty yucky food. Blah...now my head feels foggy, I'm irritable, and I'm feeling kind of puffy. I never condone resisting yummy treats forever and ever, but indulgence is one thing, and that wasn't indulgence. That was a tummy party :) But now, as is inevitable with all parties, the owner of the residence must come to terms with the fact that throwing a party is always much messier than attending someone else's. And I'm employing a serious amount of psyllium husks as my maids. Cleanse, magical supplement plant...stuff!

And speaking of supplements, who was it that knocked on my door today? Why, it was the UPS man with my parasite cleanse products!!! Just in time!



I chose not go with any one of the many "cleaning kits" because none of them had quite the ingredient list I liked. I decided to just put my own together, and after doing a bit of Vitacost shopping, located both of these products which I picked solely due to ingredients used, not brand. This is going to be a 30 day cleanse, starting tomorrow. Tomorrow! I'll be documenting any and all weird feelings, strange happenings, and well...I probably won't give you too much detail about the actual expulsion of parasites, if any, but you'll know what you need to know :)

It's an exciting time for my digestive system, and I'm so glad you'll be sharing this with me. Really and truly. Haha.

So, gear up, get excited, and in the meantime, please visit my new blog showcasing my handmade jewelry pieces!

A Picture Story...

I wasn't kidding. Eat fruit for breakfast every day. There's nothing like downing half a watermelon and feeling light, airy and energetic for hours. Here's a nice picture story of my breakfast today, which was juiced fruits and greens. Behold!

Kids love fruit breakfasts, and it's one of the least difficult things to “get them to eat”. Is what I hear.

Greens today are parsley and kale. Kale is the awesomeness.



We're gonna sweeten things up with a ton of watermelon and cantaloupe. There's some baby carrots in there, too. Juiced carrots taste so sugary sweet!



Here's my juicer! I love it so. It's a present from my Grandma.



Ahhh...JUICE! Real juice.



I can't stress enough that this is the only sort of juice you should ever drink under any circumstances. Bottled juice is unhealthy. Period.

So, now that it's Sunday and most of you are avoiding housework, why not bust out your juicer and make an even bigger mess?

Recipes...

What is this obsession with recipes? People ask me constantly for recipes and wonder how I get recipes for vegan or raw foods. Entire websites exist solely devoted to recipes, aisles of shelves at bookstores hold scores of books with every kind of dietary preference imaginable...I'm confused. Why are we obsessed with recipes?

It's the sort of behavior that ties into another modern lifestyle trap: What's for dinner? Where will we have dinner? What should I make for dinner? How many things must I collect in order to be able to eat dinner? These are trappings that are keeping you fat and unhealthy!

Setting obsessive labels such as dinner, lunch, late breakfast, and snack only bring more focus to eating, which is one of the only things in life that should be effortless. Why make something so simple so unbelievably complicated? Take your recipe books to the used bookshop, get some money for them, and RELAX! Eating will occur, whether or not you call it dinner or if you've got every single ingredient called for. Why not just let things happen naturally?

Instead of worrying about combining foods into recipes, spend some quality time thinking about what types of foods you are combining in your stomach. Some foods aren't meant to be eaten together, and as a result contribute to a toxic colon, indigestion, and overall ill health.

Eat fruit alone!

Fruit is, in my opinion, the perfect food. It's a perfect balance of complex carbohydrates and protein, filled with water and fiber, but you can't eat it with anything other than fruit. Why? Because fruit spends a very, very small amount of time in the stomach, another amazing plus that further contributes to this food group's blatant awesomeness. Fruit passes through the stomach in 15-30 minutes, and most of it actually digested in the small intestine, where the nutrients can be easily assimilated. But throw something like fat or protein in the stomach along with fruit, and you're asking for stomach trouble. Fats and proteins take much longer than fruit to digest, and since your stomach moves everything out at the same time, that fruit is going to sit in your stomach for HOURS, fermenting while your stomach works on digesting the other food.

The solution? Eat fruit first. There's nothing better for instant energy, and you can eat it all morning long. What's easier than a “breakfast” that needs no cooking and no utensils? Make a habit of eating nothing but fruit until noon. Your digestive tract will thank you.

Oh, there's more, but simple is best. Digest this, and I'll be back with more soon. My upcoming parasite cleanse cannot be missed, so subscribe for faster updates!

Free Dietary Counseling...

Well, it's here. The awesome moment I've been anticipating for a long, long time. It's time to complete my nutrition certification!

As you probably know, I'm enrolled in the Holistic Health Practitioner degree program at GCNM, and in order to get my diploma I first have to complete a certification in nutrition, and then another one in Herbalism, and then a FINAL degree. Four years, baby! As of right now, I'm on the cusp of being a certified Nutritional Consultant. What do I need? I need you guys.

I have to work with a certain number of clients before I can complete my certification. Like...logging in residency hours. My job is to give guidance and counseling on areas such as nutrition, pediatric nutrition, weight loss, meal planning, supplements, detoxification and cleanses, and generally restoring balance and wellness to the body to eliminate dis-ease. Sounds great, doesn't it? It is :)

Here's how it works: I have a client form for you to fill out. Normally, I do this through email but you're welcome to print it out and bring it to me if possible. You fill it out and email it back to me. Then I whip out my brain, now full of extensive nutritional knowledge, and give you personalized guidance and address your particular needs. I email that to you. Done!

The form is simple, and it's only a few pages. I'll need you to describe in detail everything you're eating, drinking and taking for three days. All of it. No lying, liars. There are also a few other health related questions, but nothing you'll have to search for. No real names are needed, so if identity is an issue, make up a name. Put Kunta Kinte, I don't care. And that would be funny.

It's really simple, it's incredibly helpful, and it's awesomely free. No appointments necessary, unless you want one. I can always do a messenger chat session if you need additional explanation or support. I'm hoping to begin on these now, so email me (see below) if you're interested. I'm also taking some people in town, so there aren't a whole lot of these left.

This is the same sort of nutritional service that would run you $100+ for just the initial consultation alone. Even if you feel that you're in good health, or if you already have a good idea of what constitutes good nutrition, there's always room for improvement, and it's nice to know when you are on the right track.

Convinced? Email me before everyone else does :) @ kombuchadiva@yahoo.com

Love you!